Relationship Counselling – Couples Therapy

How Do I Repair My Relationship Before It’s Too Late?

Relationships can be difficult at times; there’s no way around that. They can also be incredibly fulfilling, but figuring out how to co-exist with another person can be complicated and take work. This applies to all types of relationships – friends, family, and romantic partners. When having an issue in one of your relationships, or if your relationship is causing problems for you (and not the other person), it’s an excellent idea to get a professional involved. Having an objective third party help you with your relationship struggles can be a great way to start healing or enhancing your relationships.

If you’re in a relationship but feel like parts of it are dissatisfying or leaving you looking for something else, speaking with a psychologist is a great option. Before you decide to leave the relationship, you need to decide if you think it’s worth saving. If you do, there are several things you can do to try to make the relationship last.

Communicate With Your Partner

This might seem obvious, but communication is key. Your partner isn’t a mind reader. You might need something else out of the relationship that seems obvious to you, but your partner is unaware of. This means you have to determine what it is that you want so you can communicate it to them. You also aren’t a mind reader. Hopefully, your partner is willing to open up and share their wants and needs with you as well.

Hold Each Other Accountable

People make mistakes all the time, and it’s important that they are held accountable for them. This doesn’t mean you should constantly tell your partner what they’re doing wrong, but it is a good idea to let them know if you think they’ve done something wrong. You can do this empathetically and compassionately. It’s also important that you take accountability for your own mistakes. If you can’t own up to them in a healthy and mature way, it will likely be difficult for your partner to do the same. If you aren’t sure how to approach the situation, having an objective third party who is trained in dealing with relationship issues can be very beneficial.

Moving On

Sometimes relationships end, no matter how badly you wanted to make it work. Or maybe you’re the one who made the difficult decision to end a relationship. Regardless of the reasons for the end of a relationship, it’s almost always difficult. Even if you genuinely believe that you shouldn’t be a part of that relationship anymore, it’s still hard. Pynk Health has experienced psychologists to help you with separation, divorce and whatever reason your relationship might have ended.

This applies to friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships as well. Many people think they have to put up with bad behaviour from their family members because they are related. This is just not true. If you have a toxic relationship with a family member that needs to end, it can be extremely difficult, but sometimes there are no other options.

Compromise

For any type of relationship to be successful, compromise is a must. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or romantic partner, it’s highly probable that you’re always going to have to do a few things you don’t really want to do. And conversely, your partner should be willing to compromise on certain things as well. If there are major life decisions that you can’t agree on, that’s a different issue. If one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, for example, there might be some type of compromise for that, but it’s possible that there isn’t.

Set Realistic Expectations

You might never be in a relationship where you get everything you want and need from your partner or friend. There’s nothing wrong with this! It’s essential to have open communication about your expectations and the other person’s expectations in the relationship. Many people enter marriages or domestic partnerships and expect to have all of their wants and needs fulfilled by that person. This is unrealistic and potentially damaging to the relationship. Determine what you need from this relationship and try to figure out what is realistic. If you’re struggling with figuring out what those expectations are, talking to a professional can be helpful for any kind of relationship.

Struggling? We Can Help. Doing Well? We Can Still Help!

Remember, you don’t have to be experiencing significant problems (or any problems) to seek out a therapist for relationship advice. Some people want to understand themselves better in the context of a relationship, so they seek counselling. Our psychologists at Pynk Health offer individual counselling as well as couple’s counselling.

It can be scary to reach out for help, especially if you’re afraid of the other person in the relationship. The best thing you can do is find a way to safely reach out to a professional so they can help you live the life you truly deserve, and that is a life full of safety, consent, peace, and happiness.

Consent and Safety

Arguably, the most crucial aspect of any relationship is consent and feelings of safety. This is true for any type of relationship, not just romantic relationships. The word consent is often used only in terms of romantic relationships, and it’s definitely important to explore that. Some important questions to ask yourself include the following:

• Do you feel safe at home?
• Are you experiencing physical violence?
• Are you experiencing emotional abuse?
• Are you experiencing sexual abuse?
• Are you ever forced to do something without your consent?
• Are you living in a coercive controlling environment?*

*Coercive control is a course of conduct aimed at dominating and controlling another (usually an intimate partner, but can be other family members) and is almost exclusively perpetrated by men against women (Johnson, 1995; Nancarrow, 2019; Pence & Dasgupta, 2006).

If you’re in a relationship where you don’t feel safe and/or you’re experiencing violence or nonconsensual acts, it’s really important to get help from a professional. It’s certainly your choice as to whether you involve law enforcement. At Pynk Health, we understand the importance of consent and safety in relationships. We want to help you achieve that. Clinicians at Pynk Health are trained to help you deal with domestic violence situations. Please remember that it’s never your fault. No matter how many times your partner tries to make you believe that it is, it is not your fault.